Never expecting this.
And now I'm here coping with, my addiction."
Not sure if you are familiar with that song, but I remember when I first heard it, it clicked with me immediately. I thought it was just crazy how ONE touch, ONE kiss, ONE view can strike up such an infatuation. When I was 16, I handed my innocence over to somebody that I was on the verge of being dangerously in love with. I was already to the disturbingly in love stage, and PRAISE GOD I didn't make it to the next level. But when I got just a small taste of what this person was like, a simple kiss, I could not get enough. I was allergic to God and addicted to him and the lust that accompanied him. ADIDAS could have been my theme song. How many people face addictions everyday, but don't tell anybody? I remember when I was in middle school, I had a crush on one of my guy friends and I wrote his name on the mirror when I got out the shower. When my brother took a shower, the name reappeared and my brother asked me "Who is Barry?" A hot aggravation shot down the back of my neck and I said I didn't know what he was talking about. I was so embarrassed that he found my secret out. This may be the same case with people who have addictions. For me, my exposure to sexual immorality first happened when I was only FIVE years old! From age five up until recently, I have never had a pure mind. Never. So, to put it plainly, conquering lust and sexual impurity has not been easy. I am coming out and talking about this because I am sure there are countless people that have or are currently dealing with problems with watching pornography, fornication, or just sexually immoral acts against oneself, just as I have! Not many people think about girls having problems with things of that nature. Girls are human with fleshly desires too. It takes a lot to come out and talk about stuff like this, but hey, there is no shame in my game because I represent Jesus' name! I have given so many discounts to guys, that I am fed up. I have vowed not to give away my kisses freely. My body is God's property, so NO man can touch what doesn't belong to him until God gives it to him. My body is God's temple and I'm keeping it locked 'til I get that rock. This is something serious man! I want the FULL experience when I get married. I want my last first kiss and I want the best sex of my life to be with the man that God has prepared for me. God created sex and the world has perverted it. I want it in its purest form. There are plenty of men putting in applications to this Ivy League school (me lol) but the competition is fierce and not just any ol body can get accepted! I'm a fee-male. I'm going to COST you something! Dr. Lindsay Marsh gave an example of virtuous women being like cars. The Rolls Royce is the only car that you cannot test drive. Either you buy it or you admire it. Daughters of the most high=The Rolls Royce. Think about it! We're top notch baby!
If this was too real for you, um...I don't know what to tell you other than don't read my blogs! lol I don't sugar coat stuff. It is what it is. If you are in bondage to an addiction in your life man, go talk to somebody that you trust! TELL somebody so that they can pray with you and for you! Mine was lust and praise God for deliverance! Conquer your addiction, whether it be sex, money, food, whatever! I'm proud to say I am addicted to Jesus now! A person is a slave to whatever conquers them. Who's your master?
Sincerely, Bri
Peace and Love to you!
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